How many orgasms?

In the Wife-led Marriage blog, there is a post called "A Good Number?", which discusses the ideal number of orgasms that the Wife should allow her Husband when using orgasm management.

Some of the comments added to the post make for a lively discussion and reveal how different things work for different people. For example:

My husband and I have a wonderful WLR marriage. I attribute much of its success to the fact that I do keep him very horny. I do a tease and deny session once a week or so on him, allow him to massage me nightly (umm, the best), and of course having him perform oral sex on me whenever I feel like it. He then must pat me off dry with tissues, pull up my panties, and then lay down, cuddle me and go to sleep. As for his orgasms, we both decided years ago that I would control them, and I did tell him that he would have to wait a minimum of 1 month, and probably longer to cum. He asked for 2 weeks, I said no way. He also gets a little disinterested after he cums, so I told him then that I would like 2 months. Well, I settled on the 1 month schedule, but I always seem to have to add additional weeks for bad behavior, or even because I can just add weeks. He is not allowed to ask or complain, if he does 2 more weeks are added. If his housework was not done up to my very high standards, 1 to 3 weeks are added. Restricting your husbands orgasms is a wonderful tool for wives. Just say "2 more weeks" , his behavior changes immediately, and a wife doesn't have to lift a finger. During the course of his wait time, there are instances where is behavior is so sweet and nice, that after he brings me to orgasm or massages me, I do allow him to penetrate me. But only for somewhere of 4 to 8 strokes, no cumming allowed. I never allow him time off for good behavior, he gets his 1 month and then whatever he earned additional. So ladies, 10 is a good magic number. That averages out to about once every 5 weeks in a year. My husband probably is on a schedule of 8 this year. ( I do make a mark on my personal calendar, but he knows each and every one of them by date and how it was done by memory). I have told him that one of these years I may tell him he will be like Christmas, which also only comes once a year. I love the look he gets on his face then. I would like to close by saying that I do not keep him in a chastity device. We have agreed that the greatest devotion a husband can show to his wife is having her full control over his orgasms. If he is going to masturbate then we have no relationship, and lets forget about WLR. He has sworn to me that he wants me to have this contol, and has promised that he would never do it. Any wife can tell the difference after her husband cums, and I know he has lived up to his oath and promise since we began this. Thanks for this wonderful site.

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I've previously written here how one dominant woman wrote in her book, "If women knew how often men masturbate, every husband would be wearing a chastity device." Aside from the debate as to whether or not a CD is necessary (versus the honor system), the point is this:

If the man stops taking care of himself when that horny feeling sets in, and allows his wife TOTAL control over when he gets relief, it can add a wonderful a very satisfying new dimension to a marriage. Sounds to me as if you and your wife have arrived there!

This is especially true if the wife adds a degree of tease and denial, which, as you pointed out, can be as simple as allowing you to see her nude or wearing only her panties. As you said, this speeds up the horniness. Perhaps more importantly, it reaffirms to the man that his wife has not forgotten or lost interest.

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VeezKnight, I think you said it perfectly when you said that tease and denial reaffirm to the man that his wife has not forgotten about his sexual situation she has imposed ( hopefully by mutual consent) on him. I do a tease and deny session on my husband several times a day. I will let him pick out my panties for me, let him fasten my bra as he watches me dress, allow him (in private of course) to grab a feel anytime during the day, watch me undress at night, and allow him to be in the shower with me if he wishes so he can do my legs and back. Sometimes I allow him to wash a little bit more. I like to keep him on the edge, and he also enjoys being there. When your husband makes a promise not to ever masturbate again and you know it has been years since he has done that, you can't measure that extra closeness we feel for eachother. You put it best.... it adds a new satisfying dimension to a marriage.

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My wife and I have recently started our WLR marriage. So far I love it and she is enjoying it also. I like the fact that she controls my orgasms because it keeps me horny and I love the energy I get from that. As far as time, we really don't go past 2 weeks. I am 30, she is 31. I can pretty much be horny and ready to go the next day, so I am back to normal the next morning. I have enjoyed the time spent together caressing her and massaging her. It is almost like rediscovering one another. Last night we just started something new to establish her control over me. I have to open wide and let her sit over my face after my orgasm to clean her. I never want to do this after my orgasm, but I really have no choice. I sure drives home the point that she has complete control in our bed, and I love that.

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Men, let your wife take control of your orgasms, it can be fun, and according to my husband the feeling you get after a teasing session is beyond belief. It is a good frustration if you can imagine that. Wives, your husband will be putty in your hands, doing housework, giving massages, giving as much oral sex as you want, shopping because you want to go, all because you are teasing him and denying relief. The longer, the better!!! Tell him that a chastity device may may be added if you can't establish early trust, yes, many men need time to adjust and learn to live in a constantly horny state. My husband has!!! What a great life!

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I have to agree with the above post, and I am a man. My wife keeps me very horny for long periods of time, more than 1 month, and I am much more subservient to her because of that. We are in our middle 50's, and since there are only the 2 of us, we are free to show affection whenever we want, only it leads to no orgasm for me, only her if she wishes. As almost all men on this site seem to do all of the housework, and I am no exception. She has me do the housework wearing only panties. I wear panties bought by my wife and I only for me, as I am sized larger than her. I can't wear hers, too tight. I wear black, tan ,brown and whites. The Vanity Fair Body Caress and Jockey Tactel Hip Brief are the best fitting for men, and are silky smooth which my wife likes. The silky fabric rubbing against me all day and at night when she strokes me at bedtime keeps me aroused constantly. We have alot of fun though, and staying horny as long as she wishes adds alot of spice to our life. Men, let your wife have control of your orgasms, it will bring you closer than ever before.

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We combine two ideas from other blogs. On our anniversary we put 52 pieces of paper in a hat with the date of every Sunday of the year. My wife arbitrarily picks twelve and those are the dates I may have an orgas. How is, of course, up to her. I have no idea how much time there will be between orgasms.
After the orgasm, to remind me of what a wonderful privilege I have just had, I am given 50 hard strokes with the cane which will usually draw blood or at least leave nasty welts for a few weeks after.
This leads me to pray that she has not drawn two Sunday dates consecutively.
This works for us.

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As a male in a serious FLR, if you’re truly committed to making the whole chastity/orgasm control thing work, one month should be the absolute minimum. And it should be understood that that’s very tentative and not only liable to change but likely to change, meaning that whining and misbehavior on the male’s part should result in extra time added. I’m kept on my toes by the mere fact that my keholder—whom I love very much—can (and does) add more time on a whim. The longer I go without an orgasm, the more I want to please her. We’ve found that two to three months works best in our relationship and my wife has told me that she wants to see just how long we can extend my chastity. We’re discussing six months as an experimental goal. As for the absolute number of orgasms a man should have yearly, that’s up to the couple, of course (although if the man gets off every two weeks or less, you’re just dabbling in chastity). But, unless you’re trying to have a baby, ten orgasms a year is PLENTY and, arguably, less would be more. We’ve found that there is a definite correlation between the length of time I go without release and the quality of my attentiveness toward my wife. I’ve read a lot about men losing interest after their orgasms but I’m so appreciative that I shower her with affection on the rare occasions she lets me cum, even if it’s just a hand job. That means plenty of oral for her (which she gets almost nightly, at her discretion, anyway) and long, loving back rubs. BTW, we agreed over two years ago that it’s not appropriate for the woman in an FLR to give head (a topic I’d be curious to read feedback on here). I’ve accepted the fact that I won’t be receiving blowjobs as just another essential to the success of our FLR. I have experienced corner time and corporal punishment but my wife doesn’t normally see the need for this. Honestly, the last time she gave me a caning (because I noticed another woman), it was so severe that it’s an experience I really don’t care to repeat. As a final note, I do wear a chastity device. I love my wife very much but I told her long ago that it’s something I feel I need to honor my vow to her and she really appreciated my frankness and commitment.

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