Simply Beautiful

I love the Worshipping Your Wife Blog. Mark quotes one of his recent email correspondents. It is so beautiful that I would like to repeat it here.

Every day he gets down on his knees and affirms his adoration of his beloved. “I honestly don't remember the first time I knelt in front of her and just adored her,” he writes. It just seemed natural. Down on his knees he repeats a series of daily vows that he wrote. “I say these to her every day, no exceptions.”

Here they are, minus a few personal phrases. I find them romantic and tender, candid and, yes, intimately confessional:

Today I promise to show you my love in how I speak to you and listen to you.
Today I promise to treat you with affection and respect.
Today I promise to put your needs before my needs and your desires before my desires.
You are my wife, my lover, my fantasy and my queen and I very much want to please you.
I very much want to serve and obey you.
I want to belong to you. I want to be your submissive husband.
This is who I am and I adore you for accepting me.

This daily ritual serves as a reminder of and rededication to his life of submissive devotion to his wife. And, he writes, borrowing a phrase from my book, it is also part of “daring to be known by her.”

Simply Beautiful.

How many orgasms?

In the Wife-led Marriage blog, there is a post called "A Good Number?", which discusses the ideal number of orgasms that the Wife should allow her Husband when using orgasm management.

Some of the comments added to the post make for a lively discussion and reveal how different things work for different people. For example:

My husband and I have a wonderful WLR marriage. I attribute much of its success to the fact that I do keep him very horny. I do a tease and deny session once a week or so on him, allow him to massage me nightly (umm, the best), and of course having him perform oral sex on me whenever I feel like it. He then must pat me off dry with tissues, pull up my panties, and then lay down, cuddle me and go to sleep. As for his orgasms, we both decided years ago that I would control them, and I did tell him that he would have to wait a minimum of 1 month, and probably longer to cum. He asked for 2 weeks, I said no way. He also gets a little disinterested after he cums, so I told him then that I would like 2 months. Well, I settled on the 1 month schedule, but I always seem to have to add additional weeks for bad behavior, or even because I can just add weeks. He is not allowed to ask or complain, if he does 2 more weeks are added. If his housework was not done up to my very high standards, 1 to 3 weeks are added. Restricting your husbands orgasms is a wonderful tool for wives. Just say "2 more weeks" , his behavior changes immediately, and a wife doesn't have to lift a finger. During the course of his wait time, there are instances where is behavior is so sweet and nice, that after he brings me to orgasm or massages me, I do allow him to penetrate me. But only for somewhere of 4 to 8 strokes, no cumming allowed. I never allow him time off for good behavior, he gets his 1 month and then whatever he earned additional. So ladies, 10 is a good magic number. That averages out to about once every 5 weeks in a year. My husband probably is on a schedule of 8 this year. ( I do make a mark on my personal calendar, but he knows each and every one of them by date and how it was done by memory). I have told him that one of these years I may tell him he will be like Christmas, which also only comes once a year. I love the look he gets on his face then. I would like to close by saying that I do not keep him in a chastity device. We have agreed that the greatest devotion a husband can show to his wife is having her full control over his orgasms. If he is going to masturbate then we have no relationship, and lets forget about WLR. He has sworn to me that he wants me to have this contol, and has promised that he would never do it. Any wife can tell the difference after her husband cums, and I know he has lived up to his oath and promise since we began this. Thanks for this wonderful site.

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I've previously written here how one dominant woman wrote in her book, "If women knew how often men masturbate, every husband would be wearing a chastity device." Aside from the debate as to whether or not a CD is necessary (versus the honor system), the point is this:

If the man stops taking care of himself when that horny feeling sets in, and allows his wife TOTAL control over when he gets relief, it can add a wonderful a very satisfying new dimension to a marriage. Sounds to me as if you and your wife have arrived there!

This is especially true if the wife adds a degree of tease and denial, which, as you pointed out, can be as simple as allowing you to see her nude or wearing only her panties. As you said, this speeds up the horniness. Perhaps more importantly, it reaffirms to the man that his wife has not forgotten or lost interest.

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VeezKnight, I think you said it perfectly when you said that tease and denial reaffirm to the man that his wife has not forgotten about his sexual situation she has imposed ( hopefully by mutual consent) on him. I do a tease and deny session on my husband several times a day. I will let him pick out my panties for me, let him fasten my bra as he watches me dress, allow him (in private of course) to grab a feel anytime during the day, watch me undress at night, and allow him to be in the shower with me if he wishes so he can do my legs and back. Sometimes I allow him to wash a little bit more. I like to keep him on the edge, and he also enjoys being there. When your husband makes a promise not to ever masturbate again and you know it has been years since he has done that, you can't measure that extra closeness we feel for eachother. You put it best.... it adds a new satisfying dimension to a marriage.

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My wife and I have recently started our WLR marriage. So far I love it and she is enjoying it also. I like the fact that she controls my orgasms because it keeps me horny and I love the energy I get from that. As far as time, we really don't go past 2 weeks. I am 30, she is 31. I can pretty much be horny and ready to go the next day, so I am back to normal the next morning. I have enjoyed the time spent together caressing her and massaging her. It is almost like rediscovering one another. Last night we just started something new to establish her control over me. I have to open wide and let her sit over my face after my orgasm to clean her. I never want to do this after my orgasm, but I really have no choice. I sure drives home the point that she has complete control in our bed, and I love that.

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Men, let your wife take control of your orgasms, it can be fun, and according to my husband the feeling you get after a teasing session is beyond belief. It is a good frustration if you can imagine that. Wives, your husband will be putty in your hands, doing housework, giving massages, giving as much oral sex as you want, shopping because you want to go, all because you are teasing him and denying relief. The longer, the better!!! Tell him that a chastity device may may be added if you can't establish early trust, yes, many men need time to adjust and learn to live in a constantly horny state. My husband has!!! What a great life!

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I have to agree with the above post, and I am a man. My wife keeps me very horny for long periods of time, more than 1 month, and I am much more subservient to her because of that. We are in our middle 50's, and since there are only the 2 of us, we are free to show affection whenever we want, only it leads to no orgasm for me, only her if she wishes. As almost all men on this site seem to do all of the housework, and I am no exception. She has me do the housework wearing only panties. I wear panties bought by my wife and I only for me, as I am sized larger than her. I can't wear hers, too tight. I wear black, tan ,brown and whites. The Vanity Fair Body Caress and Jockey Tactel Hip Brief are the best fitting for men, and are silky smooth which my wife likes. The silky fabric rubbing against me all day and at night when she strokes me at bedtime keeps me aroused constantly. We have alot of fun though, and staying horny as long as she wishes adds alot of spice to our life. Men, let your wife have control of your orgasms, it will bring you closer than ever before.

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We combine two ideas from other blogs. On our anniversary we put 52 pieces of paper in a hat with the date of every Sunday of the year. My wife arbitrarily picks twelve and those are the dates I may have an orgas. How is, of course, up to her. I have no idea how much time there will be between orgasms.
After the orgasm, to remind me of what a wonderful privilege I have just had, I am given 50 hard strokes with the cane which will usually draw blood or at least leave nasty welts for a few weeks after.
This leads me to pray that she has not drawn two Sunday dates consecutively.
This works for us.

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As a male in a serious FLR, if you’re truly committed to making the whole chastity/orgasm control thing work, one month should be the absolute minimum. And it should be understood that that’s very tentative and not only liable to change but likely to change, meaning that whining and misbehavior on the male’s part should result in extra time added. I’m kept on my toes by the mere fact that my keholder—whom I love very much—can (and does) add more time on a whim. The longer I go without an orgasm, the more I want to please her. We’ve found that two to three months works best in our relationship and my wife has told me that she wants to see just how long we can extend my chastity. We’re discussing six months as an experimental goal. As for the absolute number of orgasms a man should have yearly, that’s up to the couple, of course (although if the man gets off every two weeks or less, you’re just dabbling in chastity). But, unless you’re trying to have a baby, ten orgasms a year is PLENTY and, arguably, less would be more. We’ve found that there is a definite correlation between the length of time I go without release and the quality of my attentiveness toward my wife. I’ve read a lot about men losing interest after their orgasms but I’m so appreciative that I shower her with affection on the rare occasions she lets me cum, even if it’s just a hand job. That means plenty of oral for her (which she gets almost nightly, at her discretion, anyway) and long, loving back rubs. BTW, we agreed over two years ago that it’s not appropriate for the woman in an FLR to give head (a topic I’d be curious to read feedback on here). I’ve accepted the fact that I won’t be receiving blowjobs as just another essential to the success of our FLR. I have experienced corner time and corporal punishment but my wife doesn’t normally see the need for this. Honestly, the last time she gave me a caning (because I noticed another woman), it was so severe that it’s an experience I really don’t care to repeat. As a final note, I do wear a chastity device. I love my wife very much but I told her long ago that it’s something I feel I need to honor my vow to her and she really appreciated my frankness and commitment.

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Training his Erection

I found this handy tip in mistresskika.com, for dominant women to use on their husbands/boyfriends. I have touched on solo techniques for lasting longer, but this would be a great practice (and a lot of fun!) for couples to try . .

A bit later, I worked on training him to stay erect longer. I’ve discovered a technique that should help in this area with daily training. I stroke his shaft until he becomes hard and have him tell Me when he is about to cum. Instead of just stopping the strokes, I squeeze his shaft just below the head of his penis that allows the sensation to subside. I could feel his member throbbing and twitching, but due to lack of stimulation and the effects of the squeezing motion, it subsided within about a minute while his erection still remained. Then I started stroking again, brought him to the point of release and then stopped & squeezed again. I did this for a total of 5 times to build up his tolerance, to let him feel the sensations and then finally let him release. I read in a book that this technique is useful in treating premature ejaculation and that with practice a goal of up to 20 times can be achieved. Perhaps more can be achieved but I was happy with what W/we accomplished this first time. It made him very attentive to Me and My touch, allowing him to feel safe and relaxed with being aroused in My presence. Now some might think that being sexually aroused with a partner is a basic function but when a man suffers from premature ejaculation, it usually started as a guilt-based, shame-ridden reaction to those feelings of sexual pleasure. This is where the training comes in to break the ‘bad’ habit. I will be training his mind as well as his penis to feel comfortable My touch and accepting of his sexual feelings. I’m sure that with time My training will be successful for both of our sexual needs.

And this is a more visual explanation of the technique:

When you have a good erection, lie on your back, close your eyes, and let your partner masturbate you. You must concentrate on your physical sensations, so that when you feel the urge to ejaculate starting to develop you can stop what you're doing until the ejaculatory urge subsides. In other words, you are looking out for the feeling which tells you you're going to come - and then you tell her to stop masturbating before you ejaculate. This may seem difficult at first, but it rapidly gets easier, so don't give up. Some find it easier to stop themselves ejaculating by squeezing their penis firmly just under the glans at the top of the shaft. Don't squeeze so hard that it's painful, though! Here's a picture of the squeeze technique (Click to enlarge it.) You or you partner should squeeze the shaft of your penis just below the base of your glans between your thumb and forefinger. When the urge to ejaculate has passed, she - or you - can begin masturbating again: Masturbate until you again feel the urge to premature ejaculation begin to develop, then stop once more for a full minute. This process is repeated three times, and then on the fourth you can carry on till you ejaculate. As you do, notice how you feel in your groin and penis and the sensations that accompany the whole process. Each phase of this cycle will take you to a greater level of arousal, so you're already learning to recognize and respond to a greater and greater level of arousal, one which in the past would perhaps have simply and inevitably have led to you ejaculating. Do this 3 times a week for 2 weeks.

Football on Sunday

This entry from "All for her" rang a lot of bells for me. Anyone else been in a similar situation?

Since starting our arrangement football season has been a little strange. On Sunday’s, or whatever day my favorite team ends up playing, things get all turned around. My wife enjoys letting me sit and relax and watch football while I do a minimum of jobs around the house and she generally takes care of business around the house. Usually it will involve grocery shopping and or cooking up a nice brunch and then a Sunday dinner.

Well, yesterday was no different, except that I also had a sore back and was distracted by some other thoughts. As my wife got dinner ready I was researching something on the computer while trying to also keep an eye on whatever game was on. She told me she was going to need my help finishing dinner to which I made some grunting noise apparently. She let me know that my answer was far less enthusiastic than she expected from me.

“Yes, my love. How can I help you”, she prompted.

I repeated the words back trying to focus on her and not pay attention to that amazing run happening on the TV.

She wanted me to finish the mashed potatoes. Hmmm. I’m a pretty darn good cook, but I don’t make mashed potatoes. She does. Always. So I get some stuff out and then stand there looking stupid while she stops what she is doing and tells me what to do. I do this wondering why she just doesn’t do it since there are probably ten other things I could be doing instead. When I finish I return to the family room and watch more football.

This was apparently the wrong thing to do. My wife let me know that when I had finished I should have asked her what else she wanted me to do. At this point I did my best to REALLY focus and helped her finish with everything and get dinner on the table.

As I was setting the table she made a joke about how my service went to hell a day after she had let me “cum in her sweet pussy”. She then spent the next few minutes teasing me and getting me all hot and bothered before having to sit and eat dinner.

Now, perhaps it is true that my orgasm the day before had something to do with it. Personally I think it was more the mindset that had been over the last couple of years during football Sunday’s. I basically have been allowed to act like any other random hubby instead of her househusband who caters to her needs. Plus my back hurt. Mostly I think it was the “alpha” male football thing, though.

Of course her comment/joke to me about my service going to hell after she let me cum flipped my switch and I was in a better mindset for her the rest of the night. It also sent me into a little fantasy world. ”Yes, my love. Three weeks is far too soon to be allowed an orgasm. I think six weeks would be more appropriate.” To be honest the look in her eye is what really set me off. Although she was joking there seemed to be something behind her comment. It seemed to be a calculated joke, not something she had just thought of.

I guess only time will tell.

Be careful what you wish for

Most Female-led Relationships begin through the suggestion of the Husband/boyfriend. But anyone who has studied this subject will know that although the woman will often be initially apprehensive at the beginning, after a while, she will end up

being more enthusiastic than the husband.

As Elise Sutton states: "I tell men to be careful what they wish for because it might come true. If a man is going to take this step, he needs to accept the consequences. There is a good chance that once the woman embraces her dominant side, she will want to take it out of the bedroom. Most men do not have a problem with this. While some men do not like losing total control, their submissive nature loves it so the pluses usually out weigh the minuses for these men. I get letters all the time from men expressing concerns about demands their wives are making on them or expressing concerns that their wives are going too far. Yet, in almost all of these kind of letters the man will also write that he does not want to go back and that he is happier with the current relationship than he was in the pre-FemDom relationship.

I do not feel sorry for men whose wives have taken them deeper in submission than they wanted to go. There are so many men out there that want such a relationship that the men who are in such a relationship should count their blessings. Nothing in life is perfect. Marriage is not perfect. Our careers are not perfect. Our families are not perfect. We have good days and bad days in all of these areas. Female Domination is no different. If a man musters the courage to introduce this lifestyle to his wife, than he needs to muster the courage to see it through all the way. He needs to surrender to her authority for only than will he reap the true benefits of submissive fulfillment."

Here are just some examples:

From a SheMakestheRules post:

"One night we were making love and she started to do the deed. In a rush of flr idealism, I became very uncomfortable. It just didn't seem appropriate to our new relationship, (I was still topping from the bottom then). I told her what I was feeling and she immediately stopped. She told me to be careful what I wished for. Two years later, blow-jobs are just a dim and distant memory. When she was having a bath the other night, she told me to fetch her some grapes and to feed them to her one by one. Each time I placed a grape in her mouth she teased me by licking and sucking it before swallowing. I was gradually melting to a puddle before her eyes but there was no let up. "Is there something you are missing?" She asked innocently. "Yes Mistress", I replied. She gave me a deep penetrating stare and said, "Well it isn't going to happen, ever..." She then collapsed into fits of laughter, well actually we both did. It was an excruciatingly funny moment. I must confess I would love to feel her mouth on me one more time but as Mrs Thatcher once said, "The Lady is not for turning..." I have absolutely no say regarding sex any more. Now it is all about her as I guess it always should have been. I'm just proud to be her obedient sex toy."

From MrsClaudia.com

"Hi. I am Mrs. Claudia's husband and submissive slave. Like most submissive men, I have fantasized about living a 24/7 life as a submissive and slave. For years I pushed Mrs. Claudia into being the Domme I had in my fantasies. For that first year, I tried to mold her into that Femdom every male sub dreams about. The Domme where she takes complete control of everything, leaving me naked and bound in the corner, to use as she saw fit. What never crossed my mind was me doing anything for her. It was all about me and getting my rocks off.

I would argue with her outside the bedroom about doing household chores. I would treat her like my little puppet and then expect her to be this awesome Domme. Needless to say, it didn't work to well. She did what any FemDom would do, she cut me off. She completely withdrew from the lifestyle and I was confused, bitter and angry at her. Over the next 8 years I did what most submissive men do, I went trolling on the internet for cyber Dommes. That lasted for years, getting my rocks off by online Dommes and FemDom magazines. Our marriage suffered greatly as I got more and more caught up in my secret life. I am sure Mrs.Claudia knew what I was doing but by that point she was so disgusted with me she gave up. The last few years of my secret life, I progressed to visiting Pro Dommes and joining websites like Alt.com and Collarme.com.

I chatted on Yahoo messenger and joined FemDom groups, desperately looking for a real Domme I could become a slave to. What I didn't realize was that I had nothing a real Domme wanted. Being submissive was all about me and what the Domme did to me. Being with Pro Dommes was fun at first, but there was no real connection there. When I stopped seeing them, I wasn't missed. I am sure the only thing they missed was my money.

The day my Wife confronted me about my secret life I was mortified. Right then and there I knew my marriage was over. My Wife started getting her ducks in a row to leave me. She did start to practice on me and this took me back. After a while, she decided I was trainable and she would give me a second chance. She trained me and taught me that Female Domination was not all about me, but it was all about her. I now live to serve and worship her and if I am lucky she will fulfill my wants. My only need now is to worship and please her. She has changed my entire life. I am a better man, husband and submissive thanks to her. She reminds me daily to be careful what you wish for. It just might come true!!"

From Worshipping your Wife

It was a decade ago in Lady Misato’s Wife Worship Forum that I first read Au876’s description of his wife’s stringent financial control. So I asked him, deeply puzzled, how he could buy his wife any special or expensive presents for Valentine's or Christmas or birthdays without funds? His answer came as a revelation:

“This is in reply to your question of how I could buy my wife expensive gifts. I can't. There is no way possible because I do not have free access to any remotely large sum of money. If she wants something, she buys it and I must say she does not hesitate to splurge on herself. Before she took control of the finances I would buy her expensive gifts from time to time. She appreciated them but often exchanged them for what she really wanted. Now she buys what she really wants. But the big plus is how much more she appreciates the gifts I do buy for her. It may be an inexpensive sweater, some new underwear, candy or even flowers from time to time, but she knows I have had to save back from my allowance to make the purchase and she knows I have given up some pleasures for myself to please her. She seems to appreciate them much more than she did expensive gifts that caused me little hardship.”

I was deeply impressed by the extent of Au876’s devotion. Now, after many years, I am privileged to confirm from my own daily experience the truth of what he wrote:

“There are very few things you can do without money. If your wife controls the money, she largely controls what you can and can not do. Meanwhile, she can do what she wants with no approval or permission from you.”
Yes, it’s a primal thrill for any wife-worshipper to relinquish all financial power into the hands of his queen, but I will whisper one teensy-weensy caution that others in the life have passed on to me:

Be careful what you wish for. Giving up financial control may be a point of no return on the road to wifedom.

Teasing and Training your Partner - A few Ideas . . .

Training your male to please you is good enough, but if he starts to become difficult, you will need to re-educate him. The following is a compilation of humiliations to get him in the right frame of mind; some teases to encourage him, and punishments to eliminate unwanted behaviors.

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Some fun teases:

- Order him to strip and stand at attention with his legs spread. It is more effective if you remain fully clothed. Order him to get hard and masturbate for you. If he starts to enjoy it, make him stop. With his hands on his head, have him do a penis dance, swaying round and round. Be sure he notices your amusement.

- Foot worship humbles the man, so have him do it often, even in front of others you choose to share it with. Make sure the tongue bath is complete, and enjoy having your toes sucked.

- Always have him address you by your preferred title.

- Tease him with your ass, make him kneel behind you and beg to kiss your rear. Let him know that this is privilege which must be earned. Make him beg until he is crazy with desire.

- Cuff his hands behind him or to his belt, and see how quickly he can remove your panties with his teeth.

- His genetalia belong to you, so deny him the right to touch himself for about six days. On the day you decide to allow him release, make him cum on a plate while kneeling before you. For added humiliation, have him lick the plate clean.

- With rope or handcuffs, secure his hands behind his back. See how long he can kneel naked at attention. Sit back and relax with a good book or TV program. Do not allow him to make eye contact, and if his attention wanders, casually nudge and poke his genitals with the tip of your shoes.

- Make a lead with rope or yarn, tying it tight around the head of his hard penis... once tight, it makes an excellent way to lead him around, simply by tugging. Shake it back and forth and watch his balls jiggle!

- A slave should learn as much about his owner, and your pheromones will bind him even stronger to your rule, so have him sniff your panties, but only without touching you!

- Secure him to the bed and tease him like crazy for hours on end! Get creative; a bag of ice cubes on his balls will bring him down, warmly massaging him with hot oil will get him hot, and to really drive him crazy, masturbate him with just the lightest of touches. Keep him on the edge for as long as you wish, extracting promises all the way... and once he reaches his limit, don't let him orgasm! He'll be begging you for more...

- Men are visual creatures, and many go crazy at the sight of a lady in lingerie or leather. So use this to increase his desire and frustration.

- You can learn to condition his responses, by tickling him (feathers work best), tweaking his nipples, or using your nails to scratch his skin. Keep him constantly aroused, but remind him that he's not to cum until you say so!

- After Queening him for awhile, sit back on his chest and extract more promises from him. Offer him your nipples to suck, but keep just out of reach. Soon he will beg for this treat, but don't give in just yet, take a break and make him think about his promises to you.

- Do the same before Queening, squat over him, just out of reach, and see how far he can stretch his tongue to reach you... have him tell you how your pussy owns him. Make him promise to serve it forever.

- Tie him down, and blind him with a silken blindfold. Instruct him in pleasing you, while you enjoy multiple orgasms. If you need to, take a break, then come come back and see if he's learned, by starting all over again..

- Ride his face, rubbing your pussy all over his face. Rest in-between orgasms, sitting on his face while he learns breath control. Drill his skills with his panties in your mouth or some other effective gag.

- Show him how you like to masturbate.Use your toys and make him watch and learn what you like..

- Strap a dildo to his face or place it in his mouth. Make him satisfy you with it. Have him do you from behind this way, so that his nose presses against your anus. Now you have your very own brown-noser!

- Blindfold him with dirty worn panties. The scent of you will bond him to you and your needs.

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List of Humiliations:

Eventually, such treatment of a male will have him conditioned to your rule, after all, who is he going to complain to if he doesn't like it?

Now is the time to test the depth of his devotion, we call it the "do anything to please You" stage. Put him to the test, this list of humiliations will keep your slave humble and more manageable. Plus, it can be quite a lot of fun!


- Of course, he must always do the housework nude.

- An important service he must learn to perform is the hand-washing of your delicates and lingerie.

- Place a collar and a leash around his neck and put him through his paces as your puppy. During these special games together, he must also eat his dinner from a dog dish on his knees, while you enjoy your dinner at the table.

- You go Cowgirl! Train him to let you ride him around the house as you own little private pony boy... still have your girlhood pony spurs? And don't forget the riding crop!

- If you've got him by the penis, the heart will follow, so secure a leash to his balls or cock ring (now yours), and lead him around the house telling him what belongs to you.

- This is also useful to tie him up in front of the sink while he does the dishes.

- Does he need an attitude adjustment? Then dress him up like the slut that he is, put on you favorite strap-on d*ldo and make him beg to suck it, being sure to wait until he is really pleading, with an earnest voice. When he has sucked it for a while, bend him over.

- If he's constantly horny (and what slave isn't?), but you're not quite in the mood, a good remedy is to strip him naked and make him quietly kneel in front of you. Make him keep his erection displayed, and give him a hand if he starts to flag.

- Make him get hard... as he starts to rise, hand him a bottle of lotion and order him to start stroking. Tell him that he has until the count of 100 to cum, but only if you give the OK. As he begs for permission to cum, forbid it. If he cums anyways, punish him.

- A slave must always earn his rewards; some examples:
Give him the pleasure of kissing your ass after he has cleaned the kitchen.
To get him focusing on your pleasure allow him a few minutes of gratification, say after a marathon pussy licking session, and only if you've gotten your multiple orgasms. Or you can always whip him 10 times for every minute it takes for him to get himself off.

- If you decide to let him cum, make him do his business onto your foot or on the heels of your boots. Or have him cum onto a small saucer or your ass. Of course he must lick up after himself, and after an orgasm, he will be more susceptible to this humiliation.

- Have him masturbate himself right to the point of orgasm. Instruct him to stay there and wait for your permission to cum. Then command him to cum before you count to twenty. If he doesn't shoot off on your command, punish him, or don't let him orgasm for a couple of days.

- If your slave is wasting your time seeking relief, order him to jerk off 3-5 times in one afternoon. If he starts to flag, you can do it for him... get creative, wear gloves, menthol cremes, add sand to the Vaseline... angora is always a nice start...

- After studding your steed, make sure he cleans you afterwards, with his tongue.

- Put the onus on him, by having him write down new ways for you to humiliate him. Of course, you'll need to punish him for not making them good enough.

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Some effective punishments:

Correct his bad behavior strongly the first time, often you won't need to repeat the punishment. Motivate him to try and please you better, or just do it because you enjoy the power.

- Give him a sound spanking or whipping. Useful implements include wooden spoons, your hairbrush, his belt, a ruler, or a ping pong paddle, which is very effective.

- Give him time to think about his errant ways by tying him up in uncomfortable positions.

- Called the 'Monk's Prayer', let him reflect by securing his bound ankles to his balls.

- Hog tie him, that's ankles and wrists tied together behind his back while he lays on his stomach.


- Hang him from the ceiling by his wrists... you'll soon have his undivided attention.

- Secure him bent over the armchair, and secure him well! This position is great for spanking, as he is completely vulnerable and exposed.

- Keep the pole under control by always making him wear a chastity device.

- Attach clothes pins to available surfaces, the testicles are perfect, then get out the strap-on and go to town.

- Orgasm denial is the most fun you can have with his penis, so make sure he has to ask you for permission to cum. Whenever possible, deny his orgasms for long periods of time.

- Tie him down and drip candle wax on his sensitive areas. Encase his penis in wax, and get creative with the colors!

- Keep your slave in shape and you'll have a sexier slave. While nude, have him do his routine. Be sure to include lots of jumping jacks (hilarious), knee bends, squats, aerobics, whatever he needs.

- Get a nice pair of opera length gloves and tell him he has to learn about face spanking. He shall kneel before you and make his face available, while you slap him repeatedly, varying your stroke. He should get a little dizzy, but your admonishments will get through.

- Grab him by the hair, pull his head down between your legs and make him service you with his whole face.When you feel your orgasm coming on, order him back and slap him about the head a couple times before grinding his face on your p*ssy again and again, as long as you like! After a little bit of this treatment, slap his hard-on and tell him what a good tool he is.

Whatever you do, be creative and have fun! The male psyche is a very malleable thing... once broken to your lead, your male will be a very useful creature for bringing you comfort and support.

Source: Divoka Sarka

Preventing Arguments

Until now, I have not mentioned Elise Sutton, the Femdom Psychology Writer. She tends to write about more extreme areas that go well beyond the Female-led Relationship writings of the Addisons and Ms Rika. But I will quote this short passage as I think it will be extremely useful to many Wives who are just beginning in this lifestyle. The passage advises what the Wife should do when conflict and arguments erupt between a Wife and Husband:

A wise woman will walk away from him, collect herself and return with

a strategy. That strategy depends on her husband's submissive nature.

Through the female domination lifestyle, she has come to know him

better than he even knows himself. What is it that stirs his submission?

Does he have a leather fetish? Does he have a foot fetish? What is it that

turns him submissive? The wise wife will get his submission to

overpower his anger so she can reconcile with him first, then she can

punish him for his temper tantrum.

I know my husband has a strong leather fetish. After I cool down, I

might dress in a sexy, leather outfit, return to him and order him to his

knees. I can see the struggle within him as his hurt and anger wants to

continue the fight but his submission wants to bow before me. I love

watching that internal struggle within him. I will order him again in my

most bitchy voice to bow before me and to kiss my boots or feet. Notice,

I do not mention what we were fighting about. I approach it as a regular

D&S session. Usually, my husband will submit and once he is kissing

my boots or feet, his anger begins to leave his body and passion and

submission will overtake him.

If that does not work, I go to another weapon that I know he cannot

resist. I will walk over to him, hug him and kiss him. I will not say a

word but I will lead him by the hand to our bed. I will lay him face up on

the bed and I will proceed to sit my tush on his face and I will order him

to kiss and worship it. This will cause most men to melt into submission.

The face sitting also prevents him from speaking, so that will defuse the

argument at least momentarily until his submission overtakes his anger.

Regardless which approach I use, my goal is to get him into a submissive

state. Then I bring reconciliation by telling him that I love him. After

that, I might make him confess his place in our marriage. I will make

him tell me how I rule over him and how I have authority over him.

Once I see that he is in a submissive state, only then will I re-visit the

argument by making him apologize to me. Again, I do not seek this

apology outside of our D&S session or else it might re-kindle the

argument.

After he apologizes, I will tie him face down on the bed and now it is

time to punish him for his behavior. He is already in a submissive mood

so I will give him a spanking and that is when I let him know how upset

he made me and he will feel my displeasure through my loving but firm

discipline. My husband says that he can feel the hurt and anger leaving

his body as I discipline him. Afterwards, I will hug him and love on him

as we confess our love for each other. It works like a charm.

Source: Elise Sutton, "Female Domination".